How Do You Sell An Awful Cookie?

How do you sell an awful cookie? Show millions of images over many decades of people needing to dunk awful cookies into milk to make them edible. What a con.

I never saw what anybody else saw in Oreo cookies. I ate my cookies the old fashioned way from hand to mouth – not from hand to glass of milk to mouth. Who expects to need a napkin for cookies that drip?

It’s a brain wash scam that millions of Americans bought into. Not only Americans evidently buy Oreo Cookies – available in over one hundred countries, which means practically the entire world was brainscammed.

The cookie itself is so hard you could break a tooth and slice your gums up. Wait till you see what it does to the membranes under your tongue and at the back of your throat. These cookies crumble like cement – not easy but super hard and razor-style edgy.

The so-called cream centers aren’t creamy. They texture more like hard sand patties that stick like super glue to the inside surface of this more black than brown cement cookie. A taste is not discernible, beyond sugar, shortening and cement, so here comes the milk to wipe away all the cookie mistakes, because Nabisco was just too lazy to try another run in the research and development department.

Nobody wants a cookie to hurt them. But the folks over at Nabisco disagree. Oreo people love the hurt. They love the hurt of the chew and then to be able to cure it with the salve of the milk that softens it sufficiently to facilitate the swallowing of the cookie mash. They love even more to see others get hurt the same way, and then cure themselves using the same method – soften it up with milk to keep you forever attached to Mom’s breast via an inedible cookie.

Milk takes the hurt away is the real meaning of the motto: MILK’S FAVORITE COOKIE.

Well, I’ll tell you something, if you drink plant milk, the healing part is even better. It makes you not want that hurtin’ cookie any more.

I think I want a COOKIE’S FAVORITE COOKIE. One that doesn’t require curing upon consumption.






 

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